Hmmph!

Life sucks!!

51

Today, my mom would have turned 51. I can't believe it's been over 5 years that she's been gone. I miss her so much! Happy Birthday, mommy!

Field Trip

I got out of my last class of the quarter today (which wasn't so much a class as a poster project presentation day) just in time to go pick up my son from my grandma and take him on a field trip to the Blooms and Butterflies exibit at the Franklin Park Conservatory. He had a good time, and I was glad it worked out for me to be able to take him on his field trip. Here are a few pics from today:


This is one of the butterflies we saw in the atrium. I think this pic turned out really well.


Most uncomfortable chair in the world, I would think. Covered in cactuses (cacti?).


Planting a flower


Us at the conservatory. He always makes the goofiest faces when posing for pictures. This is the best one I could get of him. :)
**(Btw, he insists on buttoning up the top button on his shirts. I didn't do that to him.)

Are we there yet? No.

I am still in need of that break. Just 3 more days of lectures and labs and 2 more clinical days left of this quarter. Next week is finals week! Then I think I have a week off before starting in on Spring quarter. A week just doesn't seem like enough time off. :( But it is better than none, that's for sure! Apparently Winter quarter was originally supposed to start a week earlier than it did, which would have given me a 2 week break. Not to mention, I could still use that break from reality as well! Sigh...

I started reading the Twilight series recently. I took the girls to see the movie and I actually really liked it, so I read the first book (which I liked even more than the movie). When I finished that, I read what is out there of Midnight Sun which, of course, is Twilight written from Edward's perspective rather than Bella's. I am so not happy that the book wasn't finished! I want to read the rest of it, dang it!

Last night, I started in on reading New Moon. I got about 125 pages in before falling asleep. I am going to read myself to sleep again tonight...and every night until I finish the book. And then, I will do it some more with the other 2 books in the series. I guess that this is the closest thing to a break from reality that I'm gonna get for now. :/

For the record...

Let me just say right now, that I never, ever, EVER want to work in a nursing home. More than that, I never, ever, EVER, EVER, infinite EVER's, want to live in one!!!!

This is not anything new. Nothing that just popped into my head recently. My mom worked in a nursing home for years when I was a kid, and I knew this then. But being in a nursing home for my clinicals, just kind of brought this all back to mind once again after so many years. So depressing! Not to mention...they smell bad. :o

Pain, pain, go away...

I just want the pain to go away! All of it. Physical, emotional, psychological, etc. Just GO AWAY!!!!!

Funky Town

I am so ready for a break! From school, from responsibility...from life! I am so tired and I can't seem to shake this funk I've been in. I try to put on a happy face and just get through my days, but I'll tell you what, it is not easy. :(

On a brighter note, I got my classes scheduled for next quarter. It is 3 credit hours less than I'm taking this quarter (which is 17). I don't want to say that it will be easier, because I really don't think that it will be, but my schedule doesn't seem so bad.

I will be "off" on Mondays and Tuesdays, I'll have my clinicals on Wednesdays from 7:00 am to 4:30 pm, Thursdays I'll have classes from 9:00 am until 2:30 pm, and Fridays classes will be 8:00 am to 1:00 pm. I'm also taking a psychology class online to keep full time status (and the financial aid that goes along with it). But, by taking this psych. class next quarter, I won't have to take it 3rd quarter, which will hopefully lighten my course load for that quarter.

I just cannot wait to be done though!

New specs!

My 9 year old daughter got her first pair of glasses yesterday. She had been having trouble seeing the board in her class at school and also failed the eye exam the school nurse administered recently. So, here she is showing off her new specs!

School Update

Well, my first official day of clinicals went pretty well. We didn't really do anything. We had to meet at the facility at 7 am. I am SO not a morning person! I set my alarm for 5:50 am. I think the last time I was awake at that time, it was because I had not yet been to sleep! And that has been a looooong time. Anyway, I ended up making it there on time. Actually, I was there before my instructor, so that's all that matters. ;)

So we got settled in there and then split up in pairs and did a scavenger hunt to find a list of things like med. carts, shower room, fire extinguishers, dining area, etc, just to get us acquainted with the building. After that, we sat back down with our instructor where he just went over the kinds of things we'll be doing while we're there. We were done and out of there by 10:30 am. Next week is when we will be getting into actually interacting more with patients, taking blood pressures, and all that.

This quarter seems to be flying by, which is a good thing, but there is just SO much information being passed in such a short amount of time, and I'm so scared that I won't remember everything I need to know! I have an exam in Anatomy and Physiology in the morning. This is the third exam for this class, and the first one for which the teacher did not give us a study guide. I hope that I can figure out what to study and get a good grade on it. I'm so nervous. Wish me luck!

Bummed!

I was supposed to start my nursing clinicals today. We all met at school this morning, had a short meeting, and then split up into about 7 different groups. Each group has their own instructor and their own nursing home facility to go to. We all sat down with our instructors and got to know them a little bit before heading out. My instructor seems like a really laid-back, nice guy. He's younger than I am, which makes me feel a little old, but it's alright. :)

Well, we got to our site only to find out that we couldn't stay! It's a little unclear to me as to why they didn't want us there. Before we left the school this morning, we were told that there were issues with one of the student nurses from our school last quarter at that clinical site and that the nurses and staff there did not want us to come back.

When we got there, the instructor had us wait outside while he talked to them. He came back out telling us that they were jumping down his throat saying that he looked like he was about 12 years old, telling him they didn't want our school's students there and just being completely rude to him. They also said that they had been cited for a few different things, and they couldn't have any student nurses in there until at least May so they could get their stuff straightened out.

So, I'm not sure if the issue is because of the student nurse from our school, or because they are in trouble for their wrong-doings. Either way, my group did get to have our clinical today. I'm bummed because that is valuable hands-on time and experience that I missed out on. They are looking for another clinical site to send us to tomorrow, which is apparently not easy to do. I really hope they find us a place and we don't have to split our group up to join other groups!

**Update: We got a new clinical site aleady! Woo!

Happy Birthday!

My baby girl turned 9 years old today! I don't really have anything else for ya, and I need to leave and take her to basketball practice, so I'll leave you with a picture I just took of me with her on her big 0-9!



I love you, baby!

Feeling the guilt

I just found out that my son's preschool is having a craft day this Wednesday, during class time, where the moms are going in to make Valentine's crafts with their preschoolers. I will not be able to go to it because I have a lab Wednesday afternoon, and can't miss it. I'm feeling really guilty and totally bummed out about it. I feel even worse that my grandma, who watches my son most days while I'm at school, cannot go in to take my place as she cannot leave my grandfather alone anymore. It breaks my heart to think of him being the only kid there without a mom or grandma to make crafts with.

On top of that, on April 8th, they are having mom's day at preschool, where mom's go in and spend the day at school with their kids. I will just be starting Spring quarter on the 6th of April, so I doubt I will be able to miss classes that day either. I feel so bad that I'm going to be missing out on these things along with, I am sure, several other similar opportunities!! (Great...here come the waterworks... sigh.)

Stupid Snow part 2!

Today I was supposed to have a test in my nursing concepts class, as well as be tested on peri care in lab. Yesterday, the teachers stressed that unless we got a level 3 snow emergency, we would have classes as scheduled and the tests would go on. They mentioned how last year during the blizzard, they had a power outage at the school and took tests in rooms with lots of windows, so the chances of us not having these tests today was not good.

So, this morning, in a level 2, I made my way to school...averaging about 35 mph on the freeway. As soon as I walked into the classroom, I was told that the nursing concepts class and test were cancelled today as well as this afternoon's lab. So the only class I had today was A & P, for which we had a guest speaker who ended up being late.

I'm a little upset that I risked my life driving into school this morning (and again driving back home) basically for nothing, however, I did not feel fully prepared for the tests today, so I am glad to have some extra study time!

Stupid Snow!

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a little snow. It's pretty, and fun to play in, but it just wrecks people's days. It took me an hour to drive to school this morning, when on a normal traffic day, it only takes about 25 minutes. I even left a little early this morning, to allow myself some extra time, but I did not figure it would take me over twice as long as usual to get there. People freaking suck at driving! I spent the first 35 minutes of my trip this morning going a total of about 6 miles. That sucks a$$!

I finally get there, and the guest lecturer we were supposed to have today (since our normal teacher for that class is out of town this week) was coming from Dayton, and ended up not even coming in because of the snow! We ended up watching about an hour worth of very-poorly-acted-out videos circa 1985 that we were supposed to watch today anyway, after that class. But I am a little upset, because my daughters had a 2 hour delay this morning for school, and the whole way in I just kept thinking that I should have just stayed home this morning and came in for my lab this afternoon at 2:30.

Oh well, I ended up leaving after the videos and going to the gym, which I probably wouldn't have done if I had stayed home this morning. So, I guess something positive came out of it, huh?

5 years

Today marks 5 years since my mom passed away. I remember finding out the terrible news all too well. On the night of the 22nd, my younger daughter had gone sliding across the kitchen floor and fell flat on her nose. We took her to the urgent care, because we were pretty sure that her nose was broken. When we got back from there, I thought about calling my mom to let her know, but it was kind of late, so I figured I would wait until the next day to call. Sadly, I never got the chance.

Some time around 2:30 or 3:00 am, we were woken up by the doorbell being rung repeatedly along with a constant, loud banging on the front door. Pete got up and looked out the window and said "it's the police!". Our first thought was that our security system had gone off and we somehow missed it. So, he went downstairs and answered the door. Within seconds, he was back upstairs telling me that it was my SIL and her father (who is a cop and was on duty at the time) at the door and that something was wrong with my mom. For some reason, the ringer on our bedroom phone had been turned off, so repeated attempts to call us that night had failed, so they came to our house.

I walked to the bottom of the stairs, where they stood, just inside the door. My SIL said that my mom was at the hospital, and asked if I wanted to know what happened then, or wait til we got there. I said I wanted to know. She proceeded to tell me that my mom had had a massive heart attack...and she didn't make it. I remember shaking my head and saying "No, this isn't supposed to happen right now". There I was 6 months pregnant, and she was only 45 years old!

Trin's dad insisted that I ride to the hospital in the cruiser. That drive, which was actually probably less than 10 minutes, seemed to take an eternity. I sat in the front seat, shaking and trying not to throw up, as the lights on the side of the road were a complete blur to me.

Apparently, my mom had gone upstairs to bed around 10pm, and my dad had fallen asleep in the living room watching tv. He woke up and went up to bed around 1:00 am, and had found her lifeless, lips turning blue. He immediately called 911, and they tried to revive her, and continued to do so even after arriving at the hospital, but it was simply too late. I still feel bad to this day, that I did not just call her that previous night. Even if I had woken her up, I would have been able to hear her voice one last time, and tell her I love her one last time.

I am 29 years old, and there are still times when I need my mommy! She was always the person I would call whenever I was feeling happy or sad or overwhelmed. I talked to her every day. That time was extremely difficult for me, because I was devastated, and I couldn't call her and talk to her about it.

I am currently going through a very trying and stressful time in my life, and I would love to have my mom around to comfort me and hug me. I miss her SO very much!!!

Shopping anyone?

Something happened to my iphone yesterday. I'm not sure what, but I couldn't use it. It kept telling me that I had no service and that it was activating. So I stopped into Best Buy, where I got it, to see if they could figure out what the problem was and fix it for me. Of course, they couldn't. They told me I'd have to go to an AT&T store. So I found out where one was and went.

The guy there thought it was the SIM card and replaced it. Unfortunately, that was not the problem. At that point the phone was saying that it needed a repair and I was sent on my way to the Apple store. The guy there never did tell me what the problem with the phone was, but he ended up issuing me a new one. The only problem with that, is now I have to re-enter all of my contact information (hopefully I can remember everyone's numbers, or at least get them to tell me again), and I will also have to re-download all the apps I already had on my phone.

On a positive note, I got me some awesome deals today while I was out and about. I stopped in Old Navy and they were having a huge sale. 50% off of clearance items! I walked out of there with 2 bags full of stuff for $17.24! I got my daughters each a shirt, and a total of 5 pairs of pants that ended up being .48 cents a piece! Got my son a pair of pj pants for $3.49, and myself jeans for $5.49, gray cords for $1.49, and a pair of black tights for $2.24. Nice!

Of course I couldn't stop there, I then went to the JC Penney outlet store and picked up a couple new pairs of scrubs (tops and bottoms) for under $22. Not bad, if I do say so myself!

Bed baths and beyond!

Today in nursing lab, we got tested on sterile gloving and focused on patient perineal care. We have anatomically correct mannequins on which to learn. We worked in groups (because there are only 4 mannequins) and gave the "patients" bed baths. We had to ungown them, bathe them (focusing on peri care), and change the bedding all while they were laying in the beds.

This wasn't just any bath though. Our "patients" had vomit on the front of their gowns, and had also wet and soiled their beds. And, when we turned them on their sides in bed, they leaked mucus from their trache sites. Mmmmm!

I cannot WAIT til I get to go to the nursing home during clinicals and do all this on real live people! (read sarcasm here!)

Anyway, we will all be tested in our long lab next week on what we learned today. That should be great. I was nervous today just being tested on putting on and taking off sterile gloves properly! Fortunately, I did it perfectly the first time, so yay me! Wish me luck for next week!

Pondering

I just ate a bowl of raisin bran sweetened with a packet of splenda with fiber. I wonder what the outcome of that will be...so to speak.

Kid quote

My daughter was eating a banana and started talking about how they are filled with protein. So I asked her with a smirk "Do bananas have a lot of protein?" Her response: "Mommy, I'm eleven. I don't know everything."

Well, that's news to me! I thought eleven year olds indeed know everything, or at least think they do!

4 year old logic

I had the following conversation with my 4 year old son on our way home this afternoon:

Him: I want a pet. I want to get a Cat and name him Butthead.

Me: Baby, we can't have a cat because then mommy would sneeze all the time.

Him: Well, don't smell it.