I feel bluuuue

Srsly, I need to shake this funk! I am feeling very overwhelmed, and stressed, and, well, blue. It doesn't help that school is kicking my butt right now, either. Sigh...

Forget

I came across this poem today. It made me sad. :(

Forget

By Anonymous


Forget his name, forget his face,
Forget his kiss and warm embrace.
Forget the time you spent together.
Forget it all he is gone forever.

Forget the fact that he once cared,
Forget the love that he once shared.
Forget his love that once was true,
Remember now there is someone new.

Forget you cried all night long,
Forget him when they play your song.
Forget how close you once were.
Remember how he chose her.

Forget you memorized the way he walked.
Forget the way that he talked.
Forget the times he made you mad.
Remember how he made you feel so sad.

Forget the thrills when he said, Hi!
Forget the times he made you cry.
Forget the way he said your name.
Remember now he is not the same.

Forget you saw him yesterday.
Forget his gentle and teasing way.
Forget the things you had planned to do.
Remember now he is not with you.

Forget the times that went so fast.
Forget it all it is in the past.
Forget he said, I'll leave you never.
Remember now he is gone forever.

Forget the past that I once knew.
Forget it all leave it too.
Cause he no longer loves me...
..He loves you...

Bummer!

I found out at clinicals today that we won't be allowed to rotate through the OR at the hospital I'm at this quarter. Apparently they can't accommodate any more students right now because they already have student nurses from another school in there as well as some student surgical techs. So, I am really bummed, that was what I was looking forward to the most this quarter! :( One of my classmates that is at the other hospital got to sit in on an open heart surgery yesterday. Blast!

Day off?

I have a day off of school tomorrow! However, I have to go to the dentist in the morning (for my cleaning and hopefully get my filling fixed). Then, I have told my grandma I would come out and help her do some more packing. She's been asking me when I will be able to come help her again. I was out there for a large chunk of last Saturday helping her. She has SO much stuff! Yesterday would have been her and my grandpa's 53rd anniversary, so they've had a lot of time to accumulate things. My SIL and I were throwing a lot of things away when she wasn't looking. :o But, there is still a ton of stuff to go through and pack or get rid of.

Next Thursday is her moving day, so apparently I won't have next Thursday off either. :/ Oh well, whatcha gonna do?

Btw, my phone just turned on...maybe there's hope for her!

Oh no. I. DI'INT!!!

Yeeah, soo...I dropped my iPhone in the toilet today at school. :( How? Well, I got up from the toilet and flushed and I had my phone in the waist pocket of my scrub top. My shirt was kind of flipped up as I was pulling up my pants and for whatever reason, I was standing kinda sideways in the stall. As I flip my shirt back down, the phone goes flying out of my pocket and right into the friggin' toilet! I immediately plunged my hand in there and got it out and at that point it was on. I dried it off as well as I could and it seemed still be working fine. However, after about 2 minutes, it just went dead. That's just faaaan-freakin'-tastic!

So, unless by some miracle, she dries out and starts working again, I am currently phoneless. I may or may not be able to transfer my sim chip into a crappy old phone, but I have gotten so used to having access to the internet at all times, (except during clinicals, of course) especially for getting directions! I am going to be so lost without it. Sigh!

GRRR

I have got a splitting @ss headache! I have *got* to study for my microbiology exam that is first thing in the morning. I feel like puking and I can't even concentrate, it hurts so bad! :( To top it off, the stupid dog across the street keeps barking incessantly and I seriously want to just go over there and punch it in its freaking throat!

I...

...am tired.

...am sick of sneezing and blowing my nose.

...could use a drink!

Ugh!

I do not feel well. Not sure if it's allergies or a cold but BLAH! Runny nose, constant sneezing, headache, watery eyes, fatigue. Hope I can get some good sleep tonight...long day tomorrow. :(

Today

Well, Bella was somewhere around 23 lbs this morning at the vet. It's difficult to get an accurate weight on her because she won't stay still on the scale. She absolutely *loves* people and other dogs, she gets really, super excited when anyone pets her. If I take her for a walk and someone stops to pet her she goes crazy; tail wagging, can't be still, starts peeing all over...it's comical. The peeing thing can be somewhat embarrassing, though. It happens every. time.

I also stopped at Starbucks before heading back home and got my free coffee today for taking in my own mug! Too bad it didn't taste that great to me. I didn't even finish it. Good thing it was free.

Eye doctors, and Dentists, and Vets...oh my!

I finally went to the eye doctor and got a new prescription. I'd had my previous glasses for about 3 years and my vision through them was getting pretty blurry. So, I got some new glasses and new contacts. I am not 100% sure how I feel about my new frames. I guess I'm just not used to them yet, but it is definitly nice not to have to squint to see things anymore.

Last week, I went to the dentist to get a filling that had fallen out replaced. However, right after she was done, I told her my bite didn't feel right and she checked it out and said that it appeared to her to be ok, and that perhaps after the numbness wore off it would feel better. Well, it's now been a week and it still feels off. Not only that, but it actually hurts to chew on that side of my mouth now. It's also extremely sensitive to temperature. Cold actually makes it hurt *really* badly. :( So, I go back next week for a regular cleaning, and hopefully I'll be able to get it fixed.

Tomorrow I'm taking Bella to the vet for another round of immunizations. She is getting SO big! In the 6 weeks I've had her, she's gone from 9 lbs to 19 lbs (as of her last visit). It will be interesting to see how much she weighs tomorrow.

Clinicals

It looks like my clinicals this quarter are going to be pretty interesting. At least I hope so. There are only 4 other people in my group this time, which is awesome. A smaller group means better odds of getting something interesting. We will also get to rotate to different areas. Each week one of us will get to go to the ER, one to the OR, and one to the cath lab, possibly another area too, that I don't recall, and then one or 2 will be left on the floor we're assigned to for one on one with the instructor. 12 hours will be a long day, but hopefully we will be able to get some really good experience!

I also found out on Friday, at clinical orientation, that my clinicals are going to be on Fridays instead of Saturdays! I am totally cool with that! Not only will I not have to feel like I have no weekend for the next couple of months, but there will likely be more interesting things going on at the hospital on a weekday as opposed to a weekend. Woot!

Longest. Day. Ever.

I thought my classes were never going to end today! Argh! Micro and A&P lectures are soooo boring! I have a rough time staying awake during them. Especially when the teacher dims the lights to make it easier to see the projector screen. :( The nursing class was the last one of the day, yet also the least boring. I felt the most awake during that one, oddly enough.

Looks like tomorrow might possibly be a little less busy than I had thought. My grandma has a doctor appointment in the afternoon, so it looks like I may not have to go out and help her tomorrow. Not that I don't want to help her, it's just a little bit of a drive, and it takes away from time I can actually be doing my own laundry or dishes or...nothing at all. :o

Is it the weekend yet?

It's only Tuesday night...this week is draaaaging! And tomorrow is going to be the longest day of the week. School 8:30am to 4:00pm, all lectures. :( Then a dentist appointment and possibly going to help my grandma with some packing on Thursday and clinical orientation for 4-5 hours on Friday! At least I don't have go to my 12 hour clinical this Saturday!

It's over.

My Spring break is over!! I didn't really get much time to relax over the past week, just as I had expected. Oh well. It's back to school tomorrow! :/

Done

Another quarter down! I ended up getting B's on both of my A&P finals. Phew! So, that gave me a B in that class and A's in English and Speech. Woohoo!

I have the rest of this week off and then starting next Monday, I'm back at it. Next quarter looks like it's going to keep me quite busy. Another A&P, Microbiology, and a nursing class. I'll be in classes Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, and then clinicals all day on Saturdays. Kinda makes me tired just thinking about it.

Just 5 more quarters to go!

I could use a nap!

I have been quite busy lately. On Tuesday night around 9pm, my grandma called to let me know that my grandpa was doing worse and she was not sure if he would make it through the night. I was still studying for my 2 finals on Wednesday but, my family comes first, so I decided I needed to drive out there to be with them. Fortunately, he did make it through that night and after a few hours of sleep, I got up and went to take my first final Wednesday morning.

I left that not feeling extremely confident since I did not get to finish studying all of the material. I came home, took the pup for a walk and chilled for a few before heading back to school for my last final.

After that was out of the way, around 3:00 that afternoon, I headed back to my grandparents' house. The pauses in my grandfather's breathing were getting longer and the effort it took him to breathe seemed to be getting greater as well.

My dad, his mom, and one of her friends stopped by to visit and see how he was doing that evening. They all went in to see him (he was set up in a hospital bed in the spare bedroom). Then as we were sitting in the living room talking, my grandma had an urge to go check in on him. Less than a minute after she went in, she came back out and asked me to come back with her. I did, of course, and as I walked in the room, I noticed that he was not breathing and his face was very pale. I checked for a pulse on his neck and felt his last few heartbeats before they just stopped.

I stayed with my grandma again that night as I had planned. Thursday morning, she and my brother and I went to the funeral home to make all the arrangements. I brought my grandma back home with me last night. I didn't want her to have to be alone but, I didn't want to sleep on the love seat or recliner at her house another night. :o

This evening are the calling hours at the funeral home. We have to be there at 5:00 and that lasts until 8:00. My grandma is going to spend the night here again tonight and the funeral is in the morning.

So...I've been doing a lot of running around with my grandma...taking her to get her hair did and look at apartments and generally just trying to keep her occupied. I am hoping that I'll be able to just relax some tomorrow night, or at least Sunday, but who knows.

Just a lil stressed

Must. Study. Don't. Want. To....I have two finals on Wednesday. Both for A&P. One in lecture, one in lab. I really need to finish studying for them! After those are done, I will be off for a week and a half. However, it looks like my time off will not be as relaxing as I was hoping for. My grandfather is not doing very well and is likely not going to make it very much longer. :(

I have been spending a lot of time at my grandparents' house, trying to help my grandma out however I can. I've been doing dishes, folding laundry, getting up in every few hours during the night to give granddad his morphine and syringes of water so that my grandma can get some much needed rest.

So, I did not get much study time in over the weekend since I spent a good portion of my weekend there. I did make it to open lab today, though, and that was really helpful. He is holding another open lab in the morning, and I will be going to that too. I need as much hands-on studying as I can get!

I am just feeling really down, and really tired today. It didn't help that it was all rainy and gloomy out today or knowing that today would have been my mom's 52nd birthday...

Seriously...

I give up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I really just want to scream right now!!

60's = awesome weather!

I am loving the weather the past few days. Minus the rain, of course. But, I'll take some sprinkles over a foot of snow anyday! I would be completely cool with one week of snow, one month of summer, and the rest of the year being in the 60's!

I have been going for walks just about every day lately. I still need to fit in a walk today. This morning I had A&P class and then lab. (The poor puppy had to be in her crate all morning.) Now I need to run to Meijer to grab the rest of the groceries that I didn't get when I went shopping a few nights ago. Sigh. At least this time I am not taking any kids with me AND...I can wear flip flops! :)